fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize