My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize