I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize