she woke up with a sticky ear
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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