Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
