summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
