do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
