We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
