I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
