You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
