Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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