Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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