she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
