He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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