is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You can't special order awesome
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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