Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
