yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
