Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
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I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
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You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now