Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.

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  (406): Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state. http://tfl.nu/u13u
  Replies (73) Good night (2239) Bad night (906)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral

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  (954): so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral http://tfl.nu/k9rx
  Replies (31) Good night (4678) Bad night (708)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit

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  (770): At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit http://tfl.nu/qd4t
  Replies (63) Good night (1280) Bad night (7672)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?

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  (250): Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point? http://tfl.nu/14m2
  Replies (9) Good night (2842) Bad night (1429)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.

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  (502): If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was. http://tfl.nu/20o3
  Replies (6) Good night (3802) Bad night (988)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls

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  (517): He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls http://tfl.nu/0ix2
  Replies (3) Good night (3339) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.

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  (310): I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies. http://tfl.nu/ehsm
  Replies (3) Good night (1316) Bad night (810)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka

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  (701): I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka http://tfl.nu/1kth
  Replies (4) Good night (1010) Bad night (683)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.

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  (814): She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow. http://tfl.nu/dddh
  Replies (4) Good night (500) Bad night (1319)
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  (518): View more from New York

  hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.

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  (518): hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person. http://tfl.nu/wx7g
  Replies (2) Good night (1057) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.

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  (859): I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it. http://tfl.nu/qtph
  Replies (9) Good night (789) Bad night (524)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.

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  (253): it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting. http://tfl.nu/k4ds
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (471)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.

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  (201): Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus. http://tfl.nu/06dr
  Replies (4) Good night (808) Bad night (489)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party

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  (402): In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party http://tfl.nu/gnzr
  Replies (1) Good night (590) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.

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  (706): Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News. http://tfl.nu/9z5o
  Replies (5) Good night (805) Bad night (313)

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