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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Who keeps a bong in their car??

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Lol no its called college

  Fav 44 3821 849

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• (949): View more from California

  Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.

  (850): View more from Florida

  I guess we all know what he was cookin.

  Fav 15 1402 4166

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..

  Fav 19 5631 2061

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.

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• 

  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (904): View more from Florida

  You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.

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• (415): View more from California

  I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"

  Fav 1 1197 570

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.

  Fav 3 908 595

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.

  Fav 1 437 381

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Does this mean I have to put a bra on now

  Fav 3 48 27

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