mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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