Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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