She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
