so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
