I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
