Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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