so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
