i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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