I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize