You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
