I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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