i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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