Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
