Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
