If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I can text with my tongue
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
