You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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