this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
