You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
