I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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