Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
