Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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