Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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