No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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