i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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