I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
