i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
