Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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