I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
