I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
