there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
