My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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