My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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