He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize