Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
