Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
porn star boner night. come get it.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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