Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize