literally had 100 drinks last night.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
