its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
