we made out on top of his cat.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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