Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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