I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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