you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
