Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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