I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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