my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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