Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
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Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Panties = found
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