Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
