Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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