I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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