Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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