she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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