im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm both gender and math confused
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
